Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Fates

  One of the new poems I've written, I started by singing it as I was crocheting. I started singing it, then grabbed my iPod and recorded as I sang. I'm not a very vocal person, so this was a new medium for me, to vocalize my words instead of just writing them. It's a wonderful feeling, to try something new, I hope this inspires you, to try something different when your stuck. The universe is always changing, we are apart of the universe and thus are always changing.

Song of the Fates

Oh, the spinner is always spinning,
the spinner is always spinning, spinning new lives into thread.
Oh, the weaver is always weaving,
the weaver is always weaving, weaving each thread into life.
Each thread holds the other, never one shall stray,
for if it were to unwind, the picture would unravel.
Oh, the spinner is always spinning, the spinner is always spinning.
Oh, the weaver is always weaving, the weaver is always weaving.
Oh, the spinner is always spinning, spinning new lives into the divine, thread she's always spinning.
Pass the twine to the weaver.
Oh, the weaver is always weaving, weaving the tapestry of life.
One thread holds the other, another holds another.
All the threads make a picture, a beautiful picture to behold.
With every life that passes, another thread is there.
Forever the picture is changing, forever is the picture of life.
Oh, one threads holds the other, not one more important,
they're all beautiful and wonderful pieces, of the tapestry of life.
Oh, the spinner is always spinning, the spinner is always spinning.
Oh, the weaver is always weaving, the weaver is always weaving.
They're the creating the tapestry of life from up in the heavens.
They are the sisters of fate, whom spin our lives into thread,
weave them into being, to make the life we know.
Every thread holds another, every thread is important,
we're all divinely woven, into the tapestry of life.

  The sisters of fate have always reminded me of a spider, perhaps that's why I sang of them while crocheting. I also believe they are one of the symbols of creativity, and putting love, or soul into what you're doing. They put souls into thread, and put them into being. They work in harmony together, they are the quintessential artist. The sister also remind me of autumn, for autumn is facing morality with brilliance. They are eternal, making us, reaping us, re-spinning us.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Busy Autumn

     It's been a busy two months, and it will continue to be busy well into winter. My Husband and I are working with my parents to fix up their house, and We've both looking for better jobs etc...
One of my favorite rooms, my sitting room
  Working on the house has left me drained, it's a bunch of small stuff that has to be done, but it's all on a time restraint. I have the tendency to over work and keep going even when my body says I need a break, I don't want to lose that focus on what I'm doing. Well, I'm taking a break from that right now, the universe has sent me the message to rest and focus elsewhere for a while. How do I know this? As I washed the dishes, one of the cup handles came off and sliced my thumb rather deeply. I was forced to rest and do light house work around the house so I didn't reopen it. So, I read Shamanic Experience by Kenneth Meadows (very eye opening, and it's not religious, it just opens your eyes) I worked on small projects, and creative projects, and I worked on my Mario Cart skills. I suffered no more injuries. I was able to relax and open my creative mind, something I've been yearning to do, but haven't had the time to do.
Part of the office/creative area
  I have made a few more poems, and some art work, that I will share soon. I've been inspired by the autumn energy. It may not be the most vibrant foliage we've had, but it's warm and exciting. I hope you all are having a wonderful Autumn.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

Twelve Months of Change

I was inspired recently by an article on Zen Habits. The creator is giving up one thing every month for twelve months. Here's the article. It made me think more about the changes I want to take and the alternatives I'd replace them with. I'm going to try the challenge. I'm also adding stuff to my daily routine.

August: Walk/exercise for 30 minuets a day, or more.
  I use to walk everywhere, but the past few months I've been really lazy and I want to be healthier, and I want to be in shape. For me, this month is going to be about dedication and showing myself I can do it. (After doing this today, I'm down grading to flat surfaces and working my way up to hills).

September: Only two hours of computer and television a day.  
Like most people, I've been sucked into the digital world. Time passes so fast and everything I want do, there's no time for. I'll be doing chores (not that exciting but they need to get done instead of piling up), reading, exercise, drawing, writing, creating.

October: No refined carbohydrates.
I'm trying to be better about what I eat. I can't have gluten, so this isn't too hard for me, but there are some refined carbohydrates I like, like white rice. I'll be eating more vegetables and fruits and drinking more water.

November: Sitting for only 30 minuets a day.
I'll get up, walk, exercise, read standing up etc. This will be hard for me, but It'll be a good way to remind myself to get up and move, instead of becoming stiff and sore from sitting.

December: No multitasking.
 I'm going to be mindful of what I'm doing, and do it well. No talking with someone while surfing the Internet, no watching TV while I eat etc. During this busy month, it's a good reminder to slow down. This is a personal lesson too, I'm not very good at slowing down.

January: No Soda/alcohol.
  I don't drink a lot of alcohol to begin with, maybe once a month I'll have a drink. Soda on the other hand, if I see it I have a hard time not drinking it. Also, why spend money on that stuff anyway, it has one purpose, not many like milk and it's bad for you.  I'll be drinking more water than anything. I'll have tea, and one glass of milk and/or juice a day, and my breakfast smoothie.

February: No red meat.
This one is going to hard. I LOVE meat, especially red meat. I have cravings for it, but, it's not that healthy for you. I'll have poultry, tofu, vegetables, gluten free pasta etc. I'm going to eat the healthier protein options, and cleanse my body so to speak.

March: Up earlier in the morning (this will all depend on my work schedule).
I'll get up an hour (or more I want be up by 7am every morning) before I normally do so I can exercise, shower, meditate and just have some peace and quiet to myself without rushing. I'm not a morning person, but I dislike sleeping the day away and rushing to get to places or do things or not have enough time for things.

April: No Chocolate/unnatural sweets.
 I LOVE chocolate, and I love sweets. But, I want to eat healthier, and a month of eating fruit and vegetables will not kill me. That will be my mantra "This will not kill me. . ."

May: Nothing new.
 I sometimes spend money on ridiculous stuff to get that shoppers high. I've been better about it, but I still need to get my priorities straight. I'll be creative and make stuff. This will also help me see how much I already have, and have me think 'do I really need this?'

June: No computer or television.
It's summer time, do your hobbies on rainy days and walk, hike and go to the park, hang out with friends. There is so much to do besides let the computer and television suck you in.

July: No Facebook.
 There is email, phones and I can go out to see my friends. I find myself on Facebook many times a day, mostly out of boredom. After the previous eleven months, this should (hopefully) be easy.

I will write a summery at the end of each month, and an overall summery at the very end. I'm hoping to establish better habits, dedication and create a happier, healthier life. I, like many people I know, want to do so much, but get stuck in our bad habits and life styles. I believe this will help with my spiritual growth too, along with establishing a healthier eating pattern. Perhaps some of you will want to try to change, or try this challenge. My advice, this is your life, so live it, instead of just existing in it. Change is a good thing to embrace, for it is happening everywhere all the time.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Change is in the Air

   It's been a busy month, birthdays, anniversaries, and just your normal life changing events. For me, this month has been and emotional roller coaster. I'm an emotional person anyway, but I've been wanting to change, and grow stronger. I'm working now, with a close family friend, to heal myself and connect with my more spiritual side. I've always been spiritual, but the past few years it's been missing from my life, and I've felt like a piece of my soul was missing, or mourning. So, I'm connecting again with my spiritual side. I'm meditating, communicating with my spirit guides and higher conscience to help me and practicing the four agreements.

 My friend gave me a book that changed my perspective on life. The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. In short (or as short as I can explain it) it talks about how we are living in a dream, we're not seeing the true world because we are blinded by the 'agreements' we've made. Those agreement are basically believing in what other have said to/called you i.e. "you're stupid, you have a horrible voice, you're only pretty you have no brains etc. Some of the agreements can be more on the positive side, but we're not exploring who we are, we're letting others dictate who we are, and when we accept these agreements as truth, they become stronger. Ruiz says there are only four real agreements to rise out of this hellish dream and become part of the heavenly dream.

1.) Be Impeccable with your word.
Impeccable means without sin, and sin is go against, or harm yourself. What this agreement means is to speak with integrity, to speak the truth, but also in a positive way. Every time we say something negative toward our selves or gossip about others, we are preforming a curse onto our words and making it real. Direct your words toward truth and love.

2.) Don't take anything personally.
What people do, is not because of you. They are reacting from their own feelings that they've manifested. If someone says "You're ugly." They are lost in their dream/reality, and often they are saying what other have said to them or how they feel. Whatever anyone says to you, let it roll off, you know who you are. You know now, they are reacting to themselves, not you, you're just there outlet. 

3.) Don't make assumptions.
To make an assumption is to make a false truth, which leads to misunderstandings, drama and confusion. Be courageous and ask questions, so you know what the truth is. Life becomes more simple when you live in truth. 

4.) Do your best.
 Your best will change from day to day, but as long as you're doing your best, you have a better chance of quelling the negative voices in your head, because you know you did your best.

  His book is very inspirational, and a quick read. Basically, if you live truthfully and surround yourself with positivity, your life will become better than wallowing in the negativity that surrounds so many people. I recommend getting the book, he talks a lot about the tools you can use to help yourself break free from the bad agreements and find peace. Here is a website to help you understand more about the four agreements.

 I'm trying my best to change my attitude and behavior, and so far that's working really well. I'm also working on a plan to help eliminate other bad habits I have, but more on that later. I hope I've inspired some of you or at least made you curious to try the four agreements or make changes in you life.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

To My Husband

Me playing in the dam waters

 Today is my one year wedding anniversary. We didn't do anything fancy, just wondered around, acting all mushy and, just being together. In other words, our perfect day. We went to Moore Dam on the Vermont side. It became beautiful and HOT after it stopped raining. The clouds looked so white, fluffy and sparse, which is a relief after so many weeks of rain and thunder showers. It was nice to get out of the house.
Beautiful fluffy clouds after the rain
Picture of party beads at the dam

 I wrote this poem a while ago. It's a personal poem that I've read to him, and dedicated to him, many times. Today, I decided to share this poem with everyone.

Disclaimer: This poem has implied content. It may make you weepy and give you symptoms of feeling like you're in love. Not for children or the weak of heart.

My Husband Matthew

To My Husband
No matter how many soliloquies, metaphors or rhymes
I put to pen and paper, I can never describe, how I know you’re mine.
It’s in the tingle of your touch, as you stroke my hip,
The feeling I get, when you bite my lips, ears and neck.
It’s in the way our bodies resonate, cuddled into one-
Yes, resonate. They sing in harmony, the same tune.

Your eyes are cosmos, swirling, infinite,
The warmness of them, I could live in it.
I feel it when our hands entwine,
Yours and mine, our souls begin to shine.

It’s the sound of your laugh,
 and all your weird quirks that compliment mine.
I can’t describe it, it’s more than a feeling, or discernible trait.

All I know, between you and I,
You are mine, I am yours,
We are one, together in this time.

Even as you slumber, you hold me, grasping my hand.
The connection we have, full of love and more, soothes my soul.
The joy in your body and mine, as our bare skin touches.
The loyalty you possess is beyond measure.
You hold me high, on your shoulders alone I can see.
You protect me from all my demons, within and out.
Lighting the joy in my heart, I’m ground by your loving force,
I lift you high, guiding you with loving touch.
You’re my everything, staying when I’m mean,
When I yell and scream, saying those nasty things.
Holding me you say “it’s okay, I’ll try to be better for you.”
The rain up here has been constant, but it makes for pretty pictures
Making me cry, for that’s my wish, to be better for you.

It all this love and acceptance, experience and time,
I still can not find a soliloquies, metaphors or rhymes,
To describe how I know you’re mine.
It is what is, we’re bound in life
By an indescribable force, love.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

American Independance Day

  Today is America's 237th birthday. I wrote this poem with the idea of it being short and sweet. There are so many poems about America that are 1) long, almost an epic poem and 2)  They always seem to be 'too in your face' about how we're brave, free and the best place to be, which makes us sound arrogant. 
 It reality we're like anyone else in any other country, we love the land we were born in. Home is home no matter where it is. Most countries were colonized and some fought wars to be their own place. I believe that most people have pride in their home land, even if the governing rule isn't something they totally agree with. We don't always agree with the policies and politics, nor how we as Americans are portrayed. We are a melding pot of cultures, ideas, and personalities just like any other country. We are not all what you see on the television, and neither is any other countries people that are on television. 
  So, here is my quick, only revised once, poem. I'm celebrating our day of independence, in the rain,with my husband and everyone else who is so inclined.

On the fourth day, in the seventh month, this once sovereign ruled country,
Declared freedom, from island rule, two hundred thirty seven years ago.
Our home was born from blood and war.
For years our ancestors, with muskets and lead, waged with bitter hate
A war for our freedom evermore.
They prevailed in battle, the underdogs, won the country they loved so much.
They, our fore-fathers, created a fair rule, a renewed country with a new kind of people.
It’s worked thus far, so every year on the day we declared our country ours,
We celebrate with fireworks, parades and patriotic pride, with flags displayed up high.
This is where we’ve all lived, a country, this is our home.
It’s not perfect, no place is, but, to me, there is no place I’d rather be,
Than in the land that is free. I will always love the land I call home,
So I’ve written this poem, to express my love, on the day of my countries birth.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Night Time Goddesses

   This poem, I wrote in the winter time, after randomly looking up deities I came across three that caught my eye. Asteria, is a Grecian Goddess that has to do with falling stars; Nephthys, an Egyptian Goddess, she was associated with birth and death and the night; Breksta, a Norse Goddess, who guards us when we're sleeping against evil beings and nightmares. I don't know why I was drawn to theses three, but this was the result (after rewriting it three times). Do you pray to anyone at night?

 Night Goddesses

Black inked sky, glowing moon up high,
deep indigo clouds drift on this peaceful picture.
Raven hair streaming, white dress flowing,
Asteria, is running swiftly on the celestial sphere.
Stars that speckle the sky, twinkle as she passes by.
As she runs, she brushes some of the gleaming stars,
they fall, in flaming glory, a radiant show.
She chases them, laughing, her laugh is chimes on the wind.
Asteria, is one Goddess of the night, born from stars and sky.

In a desert land, the wind blows softly,
carrying the sounds of a newborns cry, and an elders last breath.
Nephthys, matron of the slumbering sky, is Mother of birth and death.
She is the Goddess prayed to for safe birth at night,
and the deity to shepard souls to the underworld.
She's the duel sided Mother, bringing and taking, life in evening light.

On this night, we're dreaming still, now, in the northern cold.
Breksta's twilight eyes sparkle in our slumbering land,
she watches closely, as we rest our tired, wary heads,
and guards us, by our iron beds.
She's the guardian against evil, and bad dreams.
Pray for her favor, and she'll defend you,
from twilight to morning light.

These three deities, are a few Goddesses of the evening time.
They rule from the twinkling sky, each with different craft, living in foreign lands.
Pray and offer homage, they will answer thee.
These three divine beings, rule the night,
from falling stars, and evening dreams,
from first breath, to last word,
pray and offer gracious thanks, that these Goddesses deserve.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


   I wrote this poem about the lake I grew up near, lake Willoughby, and it's two mountains, Mount Pisgah, and Mount Hor (very odd names, we're all aware). I believe everyone has a special place that they go to, to bring peace to their spirits. We all need an escape, somewhere that we can focus on ourselves and be in our own world for a while. A place, that when you leave, you are new again. For me, it is here at the lakes two beaches. There is an energy there, that's hard to describe, but it's undeniable once you've experienced it.
  An interesting thing about these beaches, North end and South end, the North end is a secluded nude beach, the South is a very exposed more public beach. Vermont is more of a liberal free state, with less stuck up people (we still have a few people who complain about everything) than other states. I've always preferred the North end, it has natural shade from the trees and I liked walking down the long winding path to get there. There is usually less people over there too, so it doesn't become over crowded. 
  Some people aren't completely comfortable being on the nude end of Willoughby, that's fine, that means it's less crowded. And, yes it is COMPLETELY out of view from the road, and the boat launch that's right next to it. You have to go through trails in the woods, or swim out, then over, to get to it. I believe it's the only beach in Vermont that has a nude end, and it's nice to go there and not feel judged on how you look, swim suit or not.
  Enough ranting, the poem is below, I hope you enjoy it. Comment about where you go to escape from the world, I'd love to hear about it. Also, enjoy some of the pictures I have of lake Willoughby, later this summer, I'll get more and post them.


Traveling closer, to that wondrous place, memories flood my mind.
Then, over the rise, I hold my breath.

Those clear, lucid mountains are bold on the blue horizon.
Deep green trees, cover the mountains with funny names,
the steep rock faces, over look the water we can't see yet.
Those green Earth mounds are cloaked in blue gray haze;
they are still beautiful.

Traveling closer, on winding roads with hills and slopes,
I look upon the quiet Vermont town, I spent my youth.
In this hushed place, of forest, peaks and meadow,
cows graze, people garden and crows fly around.
I once, use to gaze to the west, from window ledge,
watching in rapture, the shadows pass over yonder ridge.
I watched the seasons and sunsets change the view, and still it was beautiful.

Those tall Earthly peaks, were carved from stone and ice,
and ancient, roaming ocean tides.
Here and now, lies glacial lake,
fed by ice cold mountain streams,
surrounded by trees, and rocks,
some houses too, dilapidated and new.

Energy you can feel, is in the air,
water and the trails your feet travel.
This lake, these two mountains, are home,
this is where my Grandfathers ashes are scattered,
where I go to balance my mind, cleanse my wary soul.
The magick of this place, flows deeply, in my blood.

Looking upon the place, I haven't viewed in a season or two,
my breath is taken, my heart has quickened.
Full of life, birds are singing, fish are swimming, people are laughing.
I'm captivated, yet again, by the charm,
the sense of calm, that rolls over me.

The enchantment, in the reclusive lake,
lies in the energy, the Earth exudes.
I set foot on trail of wet mire, and roots of trees, older than me,
entangled in arduous web, that form dips and craters.
The footpath serpentines, around mossy boulders and trees,
finally leading to the beach.
The course sand is hot on my toes,
the air, nippy still, in the summer heat.
The lake laps gently on the shore in slow succession.
The water is a cool distraction, to the suns sweltering torture.

The water, is more than water, it cleanses me,
it casts away the gloom clinging to my soul.
This place of healing, infuses me with creative energy,
I am fully charged, once again.
This lake I visit for well-being.

I stay all day, gazing at the mountains two,
enraptured, also, by glittering, silver, blue.
I leave late, after the moon, has cleansed me too.
I say good-bye, but only for a short time.
I will always wonder back, pulled by unseen string,
I'm attached to this hallowed ground, by blood 
and mind.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Personalitiy Testing

  How well do you know yourself, and your loved ones? I love taking tests that tell me more about myself. Though there are a lot out there that's just bogus crap compiled loosely of random information that is a broad spectrum analysis. My Dad mentioned taking a Myers-Briggs personality test (it's based off of work done by Carl Jung) and saying it helped him understand how to work with people and their personalities. So, I took it, and my result was INFJ (introversion, intuition, feeling and judgement). Out of the 16 different personality types, this is the rarest (only 1-3% of the worlds population has this kind of personality). 
Me, alone in my own world. I'm far away in my mind.

  The characteristics of INFJ is, in short, someone who; looks more at future events, the broad picture rather than detail. Prefers to be alone or with the occasional small group, needs alone time to recharge their 'batteries'. They plan their activities, conversations, and actions ahead of time. They also make decisions more on what is going on socially than logically, they're people readers and have a set of morals and values they stick to. If you disrupt their environment and insult their morals/values they will either 1) turn the other cheek or 2) unleash a fury you haven't seen before, by evaluating you weaknesses and striking them. INFJ's are also highly creative and may seem odd, and strange to other people. This is just a few characteristics.

  After reading an article about this personality type, (It described me so well that it felt as though they observed me when writing that article,) I felt less like a freak that didn't understand myself, to someone who realized they weren't alone and there was a reason why I do what I do. It really did feel nice to read about this personality and realize, this is me, I'm not just someone who's so complicated that no one, including me, understands why I do things that seem so, unusual to people. Not only do I feel understood (by people in the psych. community or someone versed in personality types) but I learned more about myself. I no longer felt like a distorted and warped person, but instead someone with a clear view of who I am.

  I had my husband take it, he is a ISTJ, basically their motto is "Only the facts, please." He may not understand two thirds of my weird, creative, crazy mind, but he does know how to handle me. We both compliment each others strengths and help each others weaknesses. Now instead of getting mad about how one or the other reacts to a situation, we can understand why they acted the way they did, and be a less pissed off, than someone who does not understand. Also it helps when either explaining or presenting something to them, knowing how their mind works so you can communicate effectively. I really do recommend taking the test and figuring out what you, and you loved ones are, it helps you to understand and communicate better, and also know the strengths and weaknesses.

Monday, June 24, 2013

My Beautiful Vermont

  So this poem was inspired while I was camping. I revised it three times before I finally felt it was ready to be posted. I wrote this with the feeling of home in my heart, you know when you think of your home and you get all the sights, smells and memories of it? That is what I put in here. I'm actually a transplant living here in Vermont, I was born in New Hampshire. I spent most of my childhood here in Vermont and have always considered it home. 
  As I was sitting in the woods the admiration that I felt for the state that had been home for so long, the beauty the way life is up here, bubbled up into a poem. Some of it's deep with a few funny bits of Vermont humor thrown in, because it wouldn't be a poem about Vermont with out local humor threaded in. 
  I hope you all enjoy this poem, and it makes you think of home. What images, smells and sounds do you see when you think of home?
My Beautiful Vermont
To this state that I call home, I dedicate this meager poem.
This place is small with mountains, rolling hills and flowing stream,
it's greener than the greenest realm.
Sunsets of vivid pinks and golds are brighter still,
against summer leaves and evergreens on the mountains and waves of hills.
For we take care to cultivate and clean the forest, meadows and rivers too;
all the places with singing leaves and birds and water filled with trout and perch.
We keep them growing with special care, for all the children we will bear.

All the people that reside in the valleys and mountainsides know these sights:
old bearded men in plaid, guiding oxen upon a wooden sled, with gentle whip in old worn hands;
A pair of horses hauling logs from the forest, through muddy trails ankle deep,
to a landing where men labor for firewood their families need for winters long keep;
roadside garden stands, alone on long roads, standing full and proud in warm harvest months,
drop money in the jar.

This is where the hermit thrush sings,
Vermont's land is our heart and pride,
for this is where tough Yankees reside.
This is where we weather nor'easters and other winter storms.
Where home smells of burning wood seeping, into the walls,
from the wood stove radiating heat, to ward away the winter chill.
Where we see wool plaid jackets, overalls- warm clothes hanging in the hall.

This state, this place is always our home, no matter where we roam,
it's in our hearts, blood and soul.
When we smell wet Earth, pine or fall,
all our memories come back, with sights of where we played,
in trees, fields and lakes, where the air is clean, and we were wild.
Children, always running, all the day and stalking fireflies in the twilight.
In all the seasons we ran, through snow and mud,
where the axes thud, splitting wood or making way.

We Vermonters know, where the maple syrup 'grows',
where minnows will kiss our toes,
and the best spots to watch the seasons as they march through.

Oh, the seasons, we have them all, from spring to winter- and one more,
mud, when the snow melts and ground thaws,
 roads sink and form deep rutts
that rattle and shake our cars.

We, and we alone know the land we use is sacred,
for all our hopes and dreams, our sweat and blood
have seeped deep into the land we cut and shape.
All our sorrows, all our joys, live here, where we're born, where we die.
To the flatlanders who want to stay,
you'll NEVER know the love we pay to this land that is our blood.
Massachusetts, you may visit, but go home,
for this is where Vermonters roam.
This place, this land is what we know, what we think
when we think HOME.